Our blog has not been as often as we had expected it might be but we are still here and as we feel led to share something the Lord is teaching us we will continue to share with you. In the preceding months things have not been easy in the Kinkade household. The first half of 2010 has proven to be a challenge. We started with Emily's appendectomy surgery (and no health insurance) in February, followed almost immediately by David's gallbladder surgery in March. By the way, God provided for both of those surgeries in incredible ways...we will have to share those stories another time. Since then it has been just the usual life that everyone deals with...or do we deal with it?
When you go on vacation or a trip and come home with a suitcase full of dirty clothes and other things, how long does it sit around before it is unpacked and put away? Do you ever find that it unpacks itself the longer you let it sit there? Do you hope it will? What makes you finally give up and take care of it? Some of what David and I have been going through recently was unexpected to us, and yet, it shouldn't have been. When David and I first reunited it was such an amazing blessing. We were riding high on God's incredible gift of forgiveness and a second chance. Recently though, we haven't been feeling so high...more like draggin' our wagons! We've found that even though we have grown and learned so much from the valley that God brought us through , we are still the same people in many ways. Why? We've never unpacked our suitcases from our original journey. We still have the same old baggage. What a letdown. You mean we can't just leave that stuff behind...it comes with us forever more? Yes, until you unpack it!
Huh? How come? No fair! Why can't you unpack it for me? Hmmmmm... We're starting to sound like our kids. Yup, we're God's kids and sometimes we stomp and fuss just like our own children. Not pretty, but true. If any of you find yourselves dealing with similar problems over and over we would like to encourage you to unpack your bags. Go deep into that suitcase and find the dirtiest clothes. Don't be afraid...stop avoiding it. It isn't going to go away.
We can all point fingers at others or blame the circumstances we are in. That can seem so much easier than dealing with the 'dirty laundry' in the 'suitcase' but is it really? Don't you get tired of dragging it around everywhere? Unpack those dirty clothes. God will help you clean them, fold themm, and put them away. Oh, and be sure to unpack your own bag. Don't try and unpack someone else's. Only they can clean their own laundry with God's help. We can always support one another with unconditional love, grace and truth. We can and must help to make an environment of growth, especially for those we are closest to. Seek help, reach out. God did not design us to do life alone.
God is so amazing and He continues to teach us more and more about what it means to trust Him and follow Him. God brought David and I through a very dark time in our lives. What is so amazing though is that He loves us enough not to just leave us there. He still wants even more for us! He continues to work to mold us into the man and woman He created us to be. Thank you Lord!
Until next time we'll be doing some unpacking and cleaning a little laundry...how about you?
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Friday, January 15, 2010
From My Heart To Yours
This morning as I was on my morning walk I was praying about the coming day. As I walked and prayed I began to feel the desire to share with others what was on my heart. David and I do not write much in our blog (so far) but as our most recent post back in October indicates, we have not forgotten or given up.
Today is a special day. My mom and sister are coming from up north to visit. We have not seen them since my sister got married in July of 2008. I am very excited. The girls don't even know yet. It will be a total surprise to them. My excitement for this day was on my mind as I walked and prayed this morning. I was praying for safe travels for my mom and sister along with many other things. As I prayed I was thinking about all the cleaning and preparing I still want to do and as I did my mind drifted back to a time that my family visited when David and I were first married. It was a time before I was saved and it was ugly! I was ugly! I did not treat them hospitably (as I look forward to this time). I was selfish and self-centered. It reminded me how grateful I am for Christ. It reminded me who I was without Him. I am certainly still not perfect and I make mistakes on a daily basis BUT, even though I will never be perfect this side of heaven, I am saved, I am changed because of Him!
From my heart to yours this morning, I want you to know that any goodness you may see in my life, our life, our marriage, is because of Christ. In our own strength David and I could never have forgiven one another. Our marriage is restored because of Him. We still struggle but we have Him as our foundation, even when we fail, especially when we fail. He is always there to help us. Recently, He was there for us through our church family. We found ourselves struggling and were able to turn to a couple in our church family who was there for us to lean on. You see, God doesn't want us to go to church or read the Bible because it is on His checklist of "If you do this then you are on my good side" list. He wants us to go to church to be in fellowship with others so we can share each others burdens and joys.
I don't know about you but so often I have a checklist in my mind of all the things I'm 'supposed' to do as a Christian. Read my Bible, pray, go to church, etc... I judge my walk with Christ on how well I'm doing on my checklist. Today, however, God reminded me, He doesn't want me to do anything on my checklist just to put the check mark there. He wants me to do those things because I'm in pursuit of Him. He loves me and wants to have a relationship with me. My hope and desire today is that anyone reading this who does not know Christ will realize He wants a relationship with you too. He loves you. So many are facing difficult times these days BUT there is good news....Him! Find Him. This link explains how you can find Him - http://www.billygraham.org/SH_StepsToPeace.asp. Click on the link that says "Click to play the movie."
Friday, October 16, 2009
We're still here...
Hello all,
We realize it has been 4 months since we last posted to our Blog. We have not forgotten about it or given up on it. We have been consumed with too much busyness in this hectic world we live in. The other night we talked about how little time we feel we have. After talking about it, we identified that part of the reason we feel that way is because we choose to spend a whole lot of our time in front of the television. At the end of the day we are tired and worn out and we choose to spend the time we have plunked in front of the tv in the name of relaxation. We don't interact very much and after several hours I usually fall asleep. Night after night we gain nothing but mild entertainment (at best). We do it in the name of relaxation but don't end up feeling refreshed after spending the time. Clearly, we are spending time God has blessed us with unwisely. Life is busy enough. Do we really need to spend so much of the time we are blessed to have watching tv?
David and I have decided that it is time to put a halt to the endless hours we waste. Not only do we spend a lot of time but when we stop and look at the things we're watching do they really have any value? Are we learning anything? Do these shows honor God? Almost always the answer is no. We have even been allowing our children to watch way too much tv. We miss out on interacting with one another as we sit and live vicariously through others....and the lives usually portrayed on tv are not those we should be mimicking any way.
Things will be changing around the Kinkade household in the coming weeks and months. We're not sure how it will all look in the end but we know it is time for change. We know we are addicted in a way to being entertained this way. We know it won't be easy. Will we go cold turkey? Will we cut down? We'll do our best to keep you up-to-date. One thing for sure is we know that we are blessed to have the time God has given us. We feel so blessed that we have been given a second chance. We are so grateful to be back together and loving one another as God intended. We look forward to what He might have to teach us through spending time He blesses us with more wisely.
We realize it has been 4 months since we last posted to our Blog. We have not forgotten about it or given up on it. We have been consumed with too much busyness in this hectic world we live in. The other night we talked about how little time we feel we have. After talking about it, we identified that part of the reason we feel that way is because we choose to spend a whole lot of our time in front of the television. At the end of the day we are tired and worn out and we choose to spend the time we have plunked in front of the tv in the name of relaxation. We don't interact very much and after several hours I usually fall asleep. Night after night we gain nothing but mild entertainment (at best). We do it in the name of relaxation but don't end up feeling refreshed after spending the time. Clearly, we are spending time God has blessed us with unwisely. Life is busy enough. Do we really need to spend so much of the time we are blessed to have watching tv?
David and I have decided that it is time to put a halt to the endless hours we waste. Not only do we spend a lot of time but when we stop and look at the things we're watching do they really have any value? Are we learning anything? Do these shows honor God? Almost always the answer is no. We have even been allowing our children to watch way too much tv. We miss out on interacting with one another as we sit and live vicariously through others....and the lives usually portrayed on tv are not those we should be mimicking any way.
Things will be changing around the Kinkade household in the coming weeks and months. We're not sure how it will all look in the end but we know it is time for change. We know we are addicted in a way to being entertained this way. We know it won't be easy. Will we go cold turkey? Will we cut down? We'll do our best to keep you up-to-date. One thing for sure is we know that we are blessed to have the time God has given us. We feel so blessed that we have been given a second chance. We are so grateful to be back together and loving one another as God intended. We look forward to what He might have to teach us through spending time He blesses us with more wisely.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Look before you leap
David and I have not written in several weeks now. We hope all is well with each of you. We have been very busy with our life as I’m sure all of you are. This is not the main reason we haven’t written though. We haven’t written because we don’t want to just write for the sake of making an entry. We want to write about what we feel God places on our hearts. The topic on our heart for this blog entry is abandonment or walking away. We have been there. We have abandoned each other and ultimately we did walk away and separate for a time. Praise God He was able to get a hold of our hearts. We know now how selfish we were.
We don’t know what each of you may be facing in your own marriages right now. We hope all is well and you are not facing great difficulties. However, if you are, we want to encourage you…DO NOT walk away. It may seem like the answer. If there is fighting, it may seem the only way to stop and have peace. In certain circumstances, a separation might be for the best. In cases where safety is a concern or one or both spouses have become completely unreasonable separation might provide some relief and perspective. However, in many circumstances, we want to assure you it is not the answer. These are the circumstances we wish to address here.
When couples are in the throes of battle, it is sometimes impossible to be objective and reasonable at the exact moment when everything is on the line and those two traits are most-needed. In times like those, separation or divorce often seems like the most logical choice but you must be willing to step back and honestly assess the situation. Feelings cannot give us an honest assessment. Feelings will so often deceive us. The toughest thing to do is find wise and impartial counsel. Good friends and even family are often just as caught up in the conflict as the person they love. Because of this, their advice can be more harmful than helpful.
The best advice we can offer BEFORE you make any decisions is to seek a professional counselor or pastor. Counseling should be an automatic first step, especially when your feelings are telling you to walk away or get out. Wise counsel will NOT tell you what you want to hear but will tell you what you need to hear. Be careful. There are many counselors out there. Having a title does not mean you can automatically trust their advice. David and I have seen our fair share of counselors. Many of them told us what we wanted to hear. Sometimes the same counselor would even tell us each different things during individual sessions. A wise counselor will not take sides, or even take both sides, as David and I have experienced, but will be concerned with the relationship itself.
When we found our current counselor, we knew she would not just tell us what we wanted to hear. On one of our first visits I was recounting something that happened between David and me. After telling my woeful tale she ‘called me on the carpet.’ She said, “Oh, so you were having a pity party?” She was not unkind, just matter of fact. She was right and I knew it. I respect that and so does David. She has been able to help us because she doesn’t let us get away with sinful attitudes. Her ultimate source of help is God and she always leads us back to Him. He must be the ultimate source.
The Bible tells us,
“Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.”
-Proverbs 12:15 NLT
We don’t know what each of you may be facing in your own marriages right now. We hope all is well and you are not facing great difficulties. However, if you are, we want to encourage you…DO NOT walk away. It may seem like the answer. If there is fighting, it may seem the only way to stop and have peace. In certain circumstances, a separation might be for the best. In cases where safety is a concern or one or both spouses have become completely unreasonable separation might provide some relief and perspective. However, in many circumstances, we want to assure you it is not the answer. These are the circumstances we wish to address here.
When couples are in the throes of battle, it is sometimes impossible to be objective and reasonable at the exact moment when everything is on the line and those two traits are most-needed. In times like those, separation or divorce often seems like the most logical choice but you must be willing to step back and honestly assess the situation. Feelings cannot give us an honest assessment. Feelings will so often deceive us. The toughest thing to do is find wise and impartial counsel. Good friends and even family are often just as caught up in the conflict as the person they love. Because of this, their advice can be more harmful than helpful.
The best advice we can offer BEFORE you make any decisions is to seek a professional counselor or pastor. Counseling should be an automatic first step, especially when your feelings are telling you to walk away or get out. Wise counsel will NOT tell you what you want to hear but will tell you what you need to hear. Be careful. There are many counselors out there. Having a title does not mean you can automatically trust their advice. David and I have seen our fair share of counselors. Many of them told us what we wanted to hear. Sometimes the same counselor would even tell us each different things during individual sessions. A wise counselor will not take sides, or even take both sides, as David and I have experienced, but will be concerned with the relationship itself.
When we found our current counselor, we knew she would not just tell us what we wanted to hear. On one of our first visits I was recounting something that happened between David and me. After telling my woeful tale she ‘called me on the carpet.’ She said, “Oh, so you were having a pity party?” She was not unkind, just matter of fact. She was right and I knew it. I respect that and so does David. She has been able to help us because she doesn’t let us get away with sinful attitudes. Her ultimate source of help is God and she always leads us back to Him. He must be the ultimate source.
The Bible tells us,
“Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to others.”
-Proverbs 12:15 NLT
Do not be a fool, seek wise advice. We all need it. If we think we can walk through life without it then we are fools. You cannot avoid the problems you are facing now by walking away. The problems you are facing today will follow you no matter where you go. Have courage. Face your problems. Seek wise counsel. Do not be afraid of seeking wise counsel….be afraid of NOT seeking wise counsel.
“Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” -Proverbs 11:14 ESV
Monday, May 11, 2009
Time - do you have enough?
Greetings to all! We hope everyone had a happy Mother’s Day! Please forgive us for not writing the last several weeks. We’ve intended to but life has kept us busy and distracted. Do you ever feel that way? That leads us to the topic on our hearts this week…time. Why does there never seem to be enough time? God created day and night and He doesn’t make mistakes, so why is it that we seem to struggle to find enough time? All the technology that we have was supposed to free us to have more time, wasn’t it? However, instead, it seems to have done the reverse. There are more demands on our time than ever. With so many demands on our time how do we make sure that our time is spent wisely, the way God wants?
I wish we could say that we had an easy answer for all of you but David and I struggle, just like we imagine many (or all) of you do. We don’t even feel like we do very much but still, we struggle to find time …time for God, time for each other, time for our children (besides the hours we spend disciplining or just going through the daily routine), time for family and friends….and the list goes on.
It seems so easy to agree to attend an event next week; after all, what are you doing then anyway? You don't know what you are doing in the future but by the time the event comes around it is obvious you have over-committed your time. It is so easy to give away an hour or two in the future because it seems like it is so far away that surely it will be no big deal - but sometimes it is. We are still trying to work on knowing our capacity to engage in outside activities and still preserve the time we need to take just for ourselves to feel refreshed and reengage after a long week of doing what the world expects of us as employees, parents, friends, etc...
It is clear we need boundaries in our lives and relationships in order to thrive. Jesus teaches us this by His example throughout Scripture. Learning to say 'no' is very difficult for some people. Who actually wants to disappoint anyone by declining an invitation or request? We have had to become much more careful about the things we commit our family to. We just can’t do it all, even if we want to. Sometimes it is necessary to be the 'bad guy' with our kids when they want to take on more and more activities. Many of their friends are in multiple sports, clubs or other outside activities and our kids don't seem to understand the impact on time and resources that these activities demand.
Our marriage fell apart once before and while there were many reasons, one of the biggest ones was not taking time for our relationship. We took it for granted. We marked ‘relationship’ off on a checklist in our heads and believed it would always be there. As a new mother, I think I was even more guilty of this than David. When I became a new mom I allowed the overwhelming needs of our children to consume me. I gave everything I had to them because they needed me. David, in my mind, was an adult. He could wait, right? Wrong! He is my beloved. He has needs and our relationship has needs...needs that cannot be ignored. Our relationship with God and with each other is the foundation for our family. Without taking care of it, it will crumble and fall. We learned that the hard way.
The divorce rate in the church is no different than the divorce rate in the secular world. Why? We believe there are many reasons but that at least part of the reason is that couples are not taking the time to cultivate their relationship with God and with each other. It is so easy to get drawn in to activity after activity and responsibility after responsibility. There just never seems to be enough time for it all or an end to all the demands and distractions. What can we do to help one another? I suspect that David and I are not alone in feeling a lack of time. We want to encourage each of you to share your thoughts with us. Can we help? We have learned from our mistakes in the past but finding time isn't any easier than it ever was. We are learning to be mindful and we hope others might learn from our mistakes. We also hope to find ways to help one another. God does not intend for us to be alone. Our hearts seek to build a relationship with God and with each other and hopefully, with God's help, we can help others do the same.
I wish we could say that we had an easy answer for all of you but David and I struggle, just like we imagine many (or all) of you do. We don’t even feel like we do very much but still, we struggle to find time …time for God, time for each other, time for our children (besides the hours we spend disciplining or just going through the daily routine), time for family and friends….and the list goes on.
It seems so easy to agree to attend an event next week; after all, what are you doing then anyway? You don't know what you are doing in the future but by the time the event comes around it is obvious you have over-committed your time. It is so easy to give away an hour or two in the future because it seems like it is so far away that surely it will be no big deal - but sometimes it is. We are still trying to work on knowing our capacity to engage in outside activities and still preserve the time we need to take just for ourselves to feel refreshed and reengage after a long week of doing what the world expects of us as employees, parents, friends, etc...
It is clear we need boundaries in our lives and relationships in order to thrive. Jesus teaches us this by His example throughout Scripture. Learning to say 'no' is very difficult for some people. Who actually wants to disappoint anyone by declining an invitation or request? We have had to become much more careful about the things we commit our family to. We just can’t do it all, even if we want to. Sometimes it is necessary to be the 'bad guy' with our kids when they want to take on more and more activities. Many of their friends are in multiple sports, clubs or other outside activities and our kids don't seem to understand the impact on time and resources that these activities demand.
Our marriage fell apart once before and while there were many reasons, one of the biggest ones was not taking time for our relationship. We took it for granted. We marked ‘relationship’ off on a checklist in our heads and believed it would always be there. As a new mother, I think I was even more guilty of this than David. When I became a new mom I allowed the overwhelming needs of our children to consume me. I gave everything I had to them because they needed me. David, in my mind, was an adult. He could wait, right? Wrong! He is my beloved. He has needs and our relationship has needs...needs that cannot be ignored. Our relationship with God and with each other is the foundation for our family. Without taking care of it, it will crumble and fall. We learned that the hard way.
The divorce rate in the church is no different than the divorce rate in the secular world. Why? We believe there are many reasons but that at least part of the reason is that couples are not taking the time to cultivate their relationship with God and with each other. It is so easy to get drawn in to activity after activity and responsibility after responsibility. There just never seems to be enough time for it all or an end to all the demands and distractions. What can we do to help one another? I suspect that David and I are not alone in feeling a lack of time. We want to encourage each of you to share your thoughts with us. Can we help? We have learned from our mistakes in the past but finding time isn't any easier than it ever was. We are learning to be mindful and we hope others might learn from our mistakes. We also hope to find ways to help one another. God does not intend for us to be alone. Our hearts seek to build a relationship with God and with each other and hopefully, with God's help, we can help others do the same.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Love Sacrificially
Today is Good Friday, a day to remember the sacrifice that Christ made for us on the cross over 2000 years ago. In honor of the sacrifice that Christ made David and I want to encourage each of you in your marriage to love your spouse sacrificially. A big part of what destroyed our relationship and brought us to separation was selfishness. We were looking out for ourselves. We put our own needs ahead of our spouse’s. We became defensive and closed off, waiting for the other to be willing to sacrifice first. It didn’t work, it destroyed our relationship. God took the pieces of what we destroyed and He put it back together and gave us a new beginning.
What if Christ had done that? What if when faced with dying on a cross He put himself first? What if He defended Himself, after all He was sinless? What if? His example shows us that a selfless love gives life, not death.
In the beginning of our relationships we put the other person first. It is fun and exciting and we seek to please but, all too often, as our relationship can attest, that changes; when it isn’t as easy or as fun as it once was, putting our spouse first ceases. This, however, will bring death, not life, to any relationship. Don’t do that to your relationship. Love your spouse sacrificially. Show your love for one another by serving one another. Be willing to sacrifice. Follow the link and listen to the video below and remember the sacrifice Christ made for us. Think about your beloved and how you can begin (or continue) to love them sacrificially. Happy Easter!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwzt9jRUPNg
What if Christ had done that? What if when faced with dying on a cross He put himself first? What if He defended Himself, after all He was sinless? What if? His example shows us that a selfless love gives life, not death.
In the beginning of our relationships we put the other person first. It is fun and exciting and we seek to please but, all too often, as our relationship can attest, that changes; when it isn’t as easy or as fun as it once was, putting our spouse first ceases. This, however, will bring death, not life, to any relationship. Don’t do that to your relationship. Love your spouse sacrificially. Show your love for one another by serving one another. Be willing to sacrifice. Follow the link and listen to the video below and remember the sacrifice Christ made for us. Think about your beloved and how you can begin (or continue) to love them sacrificially. Happy Easter!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwzt9jRUPNg
Friday, April 3, 2009
Never give up
It is hard to know where to begin with a story like ours. God has taught us so many valuable lessons along the way (so far...we know there will be many more). We are praying about what God would have us share with each of you and we ask that you pray as well. We also invite you, if you desire, to share with us your questions about our story. We will answer as God leads us.
One week ago today, David and I were blessed to start a new chapter in our lives as a married couple. We first were married almost 11 years ago but last Friday we started new. The question is how? Why? In this day and age of divorce, separation and giving up, what was the difference in our story? God. He is the difference, and not because of our belief in Him but because He never gave up on us. It is because of Him that David and I stood on a beautiful, windy beach Friday night before our friends and family and re-committed our lives to one another in a Covenant Marriage ceremony.
In our darkest hour when there seemed to be no hope, God was there. We destroyed our relationship. We were selfish, angry, bitter and hurtful to one another. After years of ups and downs and lots of anger and hurt we gave up. We separated and it seemed for so long, at least to the visible eye, that there was no hope. But, there is always hope in Him. He never gave up on us. Our relationship and our family are put back together today because of His love, His forgiveness, His grace, His power, His strength…and the list goes on. God does not lose hope, we do.
We as humans, even as Christians, often set our eyes on our circumstances and when those circumstances appear dire or hopeless we begin to believe in what we see instead of remembering to focus on Him. David and I did that many times.
This morning it was dark and rainy and Emily (our youngest) commented on how dark it was. She wondered where the sun was. David explained to her that it was there like it always is but that we couldn’t see it because of all the clouds. He went on to explain that it is just like God. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like He is there because of our circumstances but, just like the sun, He is always there. He never leaves us. The storm will pass. The clouds will part and the light will shine through again.
We want to encourage each and every one of you to not lose hope. No matter how dark it seems do not focus on the darkness. Focus on the light. Focus on Him. It isn’t easy. It’s hard. If we can encourage or come along side anyone that needs encouragement or support then don’t hesitate to ask. God does not intend for any of us to face life alone. David and I have walked in that darkness and we would be glad to walk with you too if that is where you are. We can tell you, no matter what, God loves you. He is with you. He will not leave you. That is the most important lesson that we believe our story can tell. Perhaps in your own story the cloud cover is too heavy to ‘see’ right now BUT, in our story you can see with your own eyes…HOPE. There is hope. Don’t give up.
One week ago today, David and I were blessed to start a new chapter in our lives as a married couple. We first were married almost 11 years ago but last Friday we started new. The question is how? Why? In this day and age of divorce, separation and giving up, what was the difference in our story? God. He is the difference, and not because of our belief in Him but because He never gave up on us. It is because of Him that David and I stood on a beautiful, windy beach Friday night before our friends and family and re-committed our lives to one another in a Covenant Marriage ceremony.
In our darkest hour when there seemed to be no hope, God was there. We destroyed our relationship. We were selfish, angry, bitter and hurtful to one another. After years of ups and downs and lots of anger and hurt we gave up. We separated and it seemed for so long, at least to the visible eye, that there was no hope. But, there is always hope in Him. He never gave up on us. Our relationship and our family are put back together today because of His love, His forgiveness, His grace, His power, His strength…and the list goes on. God does not lose hope, we do.
We as humans, even as Christians, often set our eyes on our circumstances and when those circumstances appear dire or hopeless we begin to believe in what we see instead of remembering to focus on Him. David and I did that many times.
This morning it was dark and rainy and Emily (our youngest) commented on how dark it was. She wondered where the sun was. David explained to her that it was there like it always is but that we couldn’t see it because of all the clouds. He went on to explain that it is just like God. Sometimes it doesn’t seem like He is there because of our circumstances but, just like the sun, He is always there. He never leaves us. The storm will pass. The clouds will part and the light will shine through again.
We want to encourage each and every one of you to not lose hope. No matter how dark it seems do not focus on the darkness. Focus on the light. Focus on Him. It isn’t easy. It’s hard. If we can encourage or come along side anyone that needs encouragement or support then don’t hesitate to ask. God does not intend for any of us to face life alone. David and I have walked in that darkness and we would be glad to walk with you too if that is where you are. We can tell you, no matter what, God loves you. He is with you. He will not leave you. That is the most important lesson that we believe our story can tell. Perhaps in your own story the cloud cover is too heavy to ‘see’ right now BUT, in our story you can see with your own eyes…HOPE. There is hope. Don’t give up.
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